I used to feel more insecure than inspired to watch someone do something I wanted to be doing. As a musical theatre actress, I would watch shows and feel bad that I wasn’t the one up there.
All I wanted was to enjoy the performance. After all, I had gotten into theatre because I loved going to the theatre and wanted to be a part of it.
But on the inside were waves of lack, insecurity, and deep frustration.
“Why haven’t I gotten close to that?” “What am I missing?” “I’m working so so hard.” “Am I just not good enough?”
I would run into this feeling loop every single time I watched a performance whether live or online. Feeling this way made me not really want to watch performances. And I subconsciously started avoiding it.
And this all just fed my insecurity.
If I could go back and tell this younger self something it would be that “your confidence will come from finding your own voice in this space.”
Something I’ve been finding lately is the more I research every perspective I can around a topic and then decide for myself, completely on my own, whether I fully or partially agree or disagree the more I find my voice.
For most of my life, definitely through most of my twenties, I felt constantly pulled by the values of others. I didn’t believe that I had the ability to discern perspectives to find my own values so I was constantly stressed trying to please everyone.
If I could give advice to anyone in this position it would be to research as many perspectives as you can around any topic you are interested in. And yes, even research viewpoints you believe you will disagree with, you will be surprised about what that might teach you. And then without consulting anyone decide how you feel.
If I had done this as an actress it would have boosted my confidence. I would have been able to consume performances, feedback from teachers, and other theatre business advice with discernment. I would have felt grounded and empowered. And most of all comfortable in trusting my judgment. I would have found my voice in this space.
THIS IS WHAT BUILDS CONFIDENCE–> Knowing your own values.
Because if you have found your voice the beliefs of others, contrary to yours, will never phase you. You will be empowered and grounded and educated to be able to discern whether their opinion aligns with your values or not.
This isn’t to say that your values will never change in life. In fact, they should change. If they never change that means you have stopped learning.
We work on this in my program From Hustle & Burnout to Balanced & Breezy. If you are ready to find your voice and beat burnout sign up for a free discovery call here.
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